I recently went to a play, that represented everything that had been plaguing my mind for the last month or so. How we as parents have such a HUGE responsibility that it is almost overwhelming at the thought of all this entails.

Yes we need to put food in our childrens mouths, clothes on their backs, and teach them personal hygiene, these are the obvious. Really parenting is sooo much more than that. I know Amy HELLOO where have you been, these are things that I know but have just been overwhelming me. Everything I do, everything I say impacts my child, whether it be now, or in the future. This is a scary thought!

In this play the mother had an abusive husband who left her for another woman. I won’t even begin to list all the insecurities/problems this causes mentally on a person. Well down the line this mother had a child (from the psycho ex), guess who suffered for all the psychos mistakes….THE CHILD!! This just drove home to me even more how much of an impact a parent has on the outcome of the child. Now I know that the Lord can help a person overcome anything, I am not trying to excuse God from the picture here.

For example my mom yelled a whole lot. Don’t get me wrong I love my mom like crazy and I wouldn’t trade her for the world! That being said, her way of communicating was by yelling, yelling at the top of her lungs would be a better description. I sometimes see this scary monster come out in me. This brings me to my title, “Change the Cycle.” This is what I know, getting frustated=raising your voice. This brings me to tears, as I know how I felt when my mom would get like this; and I do not want to do the same with my children. This has been on my prayer list just about every day this month .

As we all know I have three kiddos that are soo close in age. I am so busy tending to each ones needs that I don’t feel like I give enough of me to each of them. My advice to those readers of mine that do not have children, DO NOT HAVE THEM AS CLOSE IN AGE AS I DID! Well I suppose there are pros and cons to this. My two older ones play together and are lost when the other is not there. However, with the playing comes alot of arguing! They are all at critical ages and their needs are so different. This is where my feeling of being overwhelmed comes into play,I do not want to fail them. With the older ones, am I teaching them their colors, numbers, shapes enough? Am I getting enough “Spiritual” teaching in there?, Am I showing them enough love? My infant requires so much attention that I feel like the older ones get the short end of the deal at this stage in the game. Therefore if I could do things over, I would not have them so close (the ones that were planned, WAIT that was NONE of them!) regardless, if I just had one more year between each of them things might be a little easier. Not to mention the other stresses from day to day life.

When I feel overwhelmed, about every day, I stop myself and I ask the Lord to give me the strength. We as the parent have such an important yet HUGE role in our children. The thought of failing them takes over.

I know DBalc would be so dissappointed about a “feelings” blog. Sorry D this is my therapy

 Oh yeah and..HOW ABOUT THEM RED SOX!!!

Well this evening I was brushing my hair and listening to Nancy Grace at the same time. I was stopped dead in my tracks upon hearing the attached story.

 http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=7227215

Pls read article then continue below…

This absolutely disgusts me!! I could not help but begin to weep for this poor child, just the thought of what could have happened. As a mother of three children, and a fresh new newborn this is just unimaginable to me! How can you carry your child  for 9 months, feel your child kick you, hiccup in your ponsa, see your child when it is born, and then leave it in the darn bathroom. What was going on in this mothers head? The sad part is this is not the only story we have heard, of this sort of thing taking place.

 In this article it stated they were not sure if she would be charged. What!!! Are you kidding me, this mother should be charged, I think she should be charged with manslaughter. What if the janitor had already cleaned the bathrooms that evening, the baby would not have been found for quite some time. A new born for goodness sakes, lying on a bathroom floor screaming just wanting their mother to care for them. An innocent child, that has done nothing, was just born into this evil world and left to sit on a dirty bathroom floor! That is what adoption is for, or tell your doctor after you have given birth that you can not care for this child.

I just do not understand what this world is coming to. I can not comprehend what goes through a mothers head, to be able to leave their child like this, not knowing if she would have even survived. I thank the Lord that the janitor found this poor baby girl. This story literally made me sick to my stomach… What a sad sad world we live in!

Well I thought DBalc took the cake in what we like to call “heckling.” Oh no, this has changed and I have witnessed this first hand.

 Well I was ever so blessed to be able to go to the Padre game today, with excellent seats. Just a very few rows away from right field, and right behind the Rockies bull pen. It was great!

So we’re watching the game, and downing some food and my good ol hubby decides to begin to “heckle” to Rockies. He goes on about how we (the Padres) are going to beat them blah blah blah.. All this while the Rockies are currently beating us, mind you. So then Mr Carl Parry joins in on this “fun”, so now we have to two of them “heckling” the Rockies bull pen.

Now I just do not understand the joy in heckling the other team. They were doing so good ignoring these obnoxious fans. I ofcourse after every comment Wences made had to follow with, “He is just kidding, don’t worry about it.” Then Wences tells me to hush up I’m embaressing him.. Can you believe this, I”M embarressing HIM

 Hardly the case here.

So the game continues on (and the Padres continue to lose) and I am sitting here trying to get up the guts to ask one of them for a ball. Just to say I got a ball from the hands of a millionaire . Well right as I was about to ask for a ball, Milton Bradley and the first base ump decide to go at it. Well this just opened up the door for some more “heckling”

Milton B and the 1st base ump are exchanging words, then MB tries to get at the ump.. Oh dear I could literally see the fire in MB’s eyes. If he was not held back, he was about to give a beating. So then MB injures his knee, I am sure you all know the story so I will get to the point here.. Which is “heckling!!”

Mr Hawkins (in the bull pen for the Colorado Rockies) was yelling, “Ignore him, let him go!” When MB got injured trying to beat down the ump. So Wences and Carl start their “heckling” again. Telling Hawkins that he was glad that Milton got hurt because he didn’t want to pitch to him. ( Hawkins had been warming up) OH DEAR HERE WE GO!!

Hawkins actually responds to this nonsense stating the following:

“Your boy has a reputation for this, and he needs to get some anger manangement!”

So then we have Lisa, Carl, and Wences responding quite loudly to this. Ofcourse Hawkins is responding back, at this point I can’t hear who is saying what. I was slowly sinking lower and lower into my seat. Then security has to tell everyone that it is enough.

Do you think the “heckling” will stop?!? OH NO…. as Hawkins makes his entrance from the bull pen to the mound Wences and Carl are yelling “Go ahead Hawkins, lose the game for the Rockies” and other silly rants. I was so embarressed that I said, “Great now they are not going to give me a ball!” Well a few of the Rockies players thought this was hilarious, but NOPE they didn’t give me a ball! All thanks to the silly “hecklers”

 All this to say I think heckling the other team is just quite silly, and really not very nice. They are just playing the game they don’t need silly fans being loud mouths. It really makes them uncomfortable, and takes alot for them to not respond. I just don’t think it’s very nice, eat your chipwich and watch the game… That’s what I say..

One good note for this game: I ate my chipwich and it was sooo delicious!!!

Well I have not written a new blog in a little bit, partially because I am training my replacement at work UGGHHH!!! I hate training, let me just say that one more time, I HATE TRAINING!!!

I just don’t have the patience, when you don’t get it after I have told you ten times how to do it , and your not taking efficient notes, I just want to SCREAM!!!!

Ok I just had to get that out, I feel much better now

Well our very own ever so successful fellow blogger DBalc has sparked a wonderful topic for a blog. “What should I name this tub-o-lard of a baby”, that is taking FOREVER to make it’s entrance into this world.

Since we did not find out what we are having it has caused quite a bit of anxiety, especially regarding a name. If it is a girl we are pretty much all set, there are a few names that we like so once we see her we will choose which one best suits her. On the other hand if this little monster shall be a boy we have no CLUE what to name him.

I do not like ANY boy names!! ( no offense to all you men out there) I am just extrememly picky.. most boy names are way too generic or just sound gay to me. I also have a problem if I can relate the name to someone I know (went to school with) etc. I just can’t use that name.

So to the point of this blog…. Hit me with your best name suggestions (pref male, since girl names we are all set on) I am warning you my fellow employees shoot names at me ALL DAY long, and they are shot down every single time. So I’m going to up the anti (that’s the correct poker term isn’t it?? I am sure if it’s not you poker freaks will let me know   )

If you happen to suggest a name that I like and I name my child you will get your very own $25 gift certificate to Golden Spoon or Cold Stone (your choice).

Let the suggestions roll in……

 CODES THAT WILL COME IN HANDY WHILE READING:

IW- Isaiah Washington

TR-Tr Knightly

PD-Patrick Dempsey

I have debated with myself about whether or not I should blog on this topic, and I have decided I will.

I am going to talk about one of the BEST shows on fall television, Grey’s Anatomy. I absolutely love this show, there are several “hospital” shows on tv these days, this is by far one of the greatest!

As most of you have probably heard about the Grey’s Anatomy nonsense that has been going on since last October.

If you haven’t I will give you a brief summary on the situation. Isaiah Washington (Dr. Burke) got into a steamy little argument with Patrick Dempsey (Dr. McDreamy) on set in regards to PD being late all the time. Apparently IW likes punctuality and takes his job very seriously. (I guess he would never want to work with Wences or I…(punctuality)..) During this heated argument IW said the following statement:

        “The argument, which he said stemmed from his    frustration with Dempsey being late to the set, heated up to the point where it almost got physical.

“(Dempsey) became unhinged, face to face, spittle in my face. I’m asking him ‘why are you sceaming at me?’ He became irate. By that time I pushed him out of my face and I began to say ‘there’s no way you’re going treat me like a ‘b word,’ a ‘p word,’ or a ‘f word’ in front of this crew.”

Asked by King to explain what three words he meant, Washington said “a four-legged dog” (most likely he meant to say “female” dog); a “punk”; and the anti-gay slur beginning with “f” which he said he used to mean “someone who is being weak, someone who is not treated with respect” rather than a homosexual.”

Some little weasal gets a hold of this story, sells it to the National Enquirer, and it is ON from there!!!!

TR Knightly (George) takes this comment personaly as he is a homosexual. Goes on the Ellen Degenres show and states that IW was referring to him in his comment. HELLO TR was not even in the conversation it was between PD and IW. TR just took the comment personally and MADE it be a slur against him because he is gay. What better a show to go on than Ellen to try and prove this point. I say GET OVER IT TR!

Then comes the Golden Globes, quick over view of what happened here..

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“Things seemed to die down as the weeks went by, but Washington opened up fresh wounds in January during cast interviews in the press room backstage at the Golden Globes. After a tabloid reporter repeatedly questioned cast members about the October argument, Washington blurted out, “I never called T.R. Knight a ‘faggot.’”

So naturally all of the “Pro homo” groups jump all over this, try to make this a personal attack on the homosexual society. Give me a break, they will just use anything they can to try and prove “woe is me, everyone is against us waah waah waah!”
IW does everything he can to make things right, knowing that he didn’t intend for his comments to be taken as they were. He still was a man and did what he (and ABC) thought necessary to put this behind him and the show.

Well they finish out this season, and oh what do you know Dr. Burke (Isaiah Washington) doesn’t end up marrying Christiana (Sandra Oh) at the end after all… HMMMM could this be some foreshadowing of things to come… I think so people…

So here comes July, all over the news “Isaiah Washington fired from Grey’s Anatomay” or should I use the more politicaly correct term, “His contract was not renewed.” Which is basically the same thing as saying he was fired. NONSENSE!! This is just nonsense I tell you! What happened to the 5th ammendment here…FREEDOM OF SPEECH! His comments were not directed towards TR Knightly or any other homosexual for that matter, I just think it is ridiculous how this got so twisted; and now IW’s character is questioned.

Well I say, Good bye Grey’s Anatomay, good bye forever! Once you break up the original cast of any show that has had the success that this show has had your doomed.

Let’s just keep to business here people, why does all the uncessary drama need to be added, and then it’s ruined for everyone.

There are my thoughts on this matter, I think they are clear

Any other input?

Do you ever feel like saying, “Lord enough, please no more!”

 Well if you have never felt that way, watch out because one day you will! Lately I have felt like myself and my family have been stretched, pulled, and shoved in a million different trials & tribulations, that I think if I am hit with just one more I am going to crumble! I suppose they say “The Lord will not give you more than you can handle” so I am sure that the big man upstairs knows that I can not handle one more thing right now! (where exactly does it say that in the bible anyhow, I mean I know it says “You will not be tempted beyond what you can bare”

On Sunday I was hit with by far the worst news that could only have come in my worst nightmare!! Then yesterday I’m smacked with a close second to Sundays news! This on top of all the other “trials” that I am trying to get past from the last 6 months or so.. WHEN IS IT GONNA END! I am beginning to wonder Lord am I being punished for something that I am just not aware of?!?!?! I know trials etc are suppose to make you stronger, but right now I don’t feel stronger at all.

I give up, my hands are in the air Lord, I have nothing left!!!!

Well yesterday was yet another birthday! I was the big fat 26, how depressing!! I can not believe I am so old! (well old to me )

 I can remember the days when I was in D.I.S.C.O. group and looking at Zac and Laura thinking, “I wonder if they ever get sad that they are no longer in our era, but have moved up to adulthood era.” Now I am in their era, past the D.I.S.C.O. stage, I couldn’t even go anymore if I wanted to and 30 is slowly creeping up on me. Where did the years go?

Since I have been married (the age of 21) the years are all just one big blur, maybe that’s because I’m always pregnant I can’t keep track of the time! Let’s hope for a non pregnant birthday next year!! LETS ALL PRAY!

Well besides the fact that I am getting older, my birthday is always the highlight of my year! I am always so touched at how much effort and energy my family puts into making my Birthday special for me every year!

Well every year since I turned 22 we have had a Bday bash and Ray & Evie’s house. Well this always consists of the BEST food ever! (ofcourse would you expect anything less at their house)

So the menu…carne asada, pollo  asada, rice, beans, salsa, and CAKE! How can you go wrong with a menu like this.

Kids screaming in the pool, people playing cards, laughing, eatting, it just makes for wonderful memories. I even attempted to try and stay afloat in the pool this year!

I know how much work goes into planning a party, preparing all the food, and running the actual party. It is exhausting and I am just so grateful for family that Loves me that much that they do this for me every year with a big smile on their face, never complaining once!

This is also the only time during the year that Wences actually asks if it is alright if he plays poker because it is my birthday. Get this, this year he even had to play some kind of blind thing so he could take a break and go watch the fireworks with me; because he knows how much I enjoy that!

I hope all of your Birthdays are as special as mine was this upcoming year!

So last night my hubster was off playing cards, so I thought, “What a perfect time to eat my Ben & Jerrys cookie dough icecream; and watch some good ol Fresh Prince of Bel Air.”

Well this particular show was about Hillarys bf Trevor getting the family on the Oprah Show. Well Will was just over joyed at the thought of being on tv and began to call everyone he knew to inform them of the news. When Will left the room Trevor informed mom and dad Banks that Will can not go, it is just for imediate family. Mamma Banks says, “He is a part of our family we can’t tell him he can’t go!” and dad Banks says, “No, he is a part of your family, so you can tell him that he is not able to go!”

Well this really bothered me! I’m sure you’re thinking this is the Fresh Prince Amy, why are you bothered at something so minute?PULL IT TOGETHER LADY! Well you ask and I will tell….I can relate to this situation very well, see I lived with my aunt and uncle for about 5 years. It is normal to feel as though you don’t belong, second class if you will. I was very fortunate to be treated just like one of their own daughters and loved  equally; however this doesn’t mean these thoughts don’t creep in. So When dad Banks said, “No… he is part of your family…” I thought to myself, how sad is that, Will has lived there for so long and Philip doesn’t even consider him part of his family when it is challenged with an opportunity like this.

I think one of the worst feelings is when you don’t know where you belong. It is kind of ironic that I married a handsome fella in the same situation as me. Wences also was raised by his sister and brother in law (who are obviously older) since he was nine. It is neat to share the same experience with him, but it also has it downs as well. Sometimes you feel as though, “Where do I REALLY belong” See cause in every family situation we are in we are kinda something, but not REALLY that something.

Let me explain…. I am like Ray and Evie’s daughter in law but not REALLY. I am like Auntie Kathy’s and Uncle Bruce’s daughter but not REALLY. I am like Steph, Sara, and Brandons sister, but not REALLY, and so on and so forth. ( I think you get the point here) These feelings are not necessarily brought on by anything other family members have done, I think it’s something that I struggle with myself. Ofcourse there are times and situations where you are kind of put in your place and reminded, you are not REALLY ____!, or your kids are not REALLY_____!

This may be hard for some to understand, I have even gotten a response such as, “You are just feeling sorry for yourself” GOSH I HATE THAT SAYING! Who ever invented that is just an ignorant person. It is easy to say that to someone when you are not in their situation, so really you have no idea what so ever what you are you talking about or what the other person is feeling.

Okay I feel better now …….

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so I am sure that this situation is for a reason, perhaps the Lord will use this somehow someway.I mean what are the odds that I marry someone in a VERY similar situation as me?!?

When I start to dwell on these “Feelings” (last night) I was reminded of how I am not kinda like a daughter to the Lord but not REALLY. I AM a daughter of the Lord, I “fit in” with the Lord, I am not “second class” to the Lord. WHAT A REASSURING FEEELING!!

 **You can thank this yet another blog that is about “feelings” on the one, the only classic Fresh Prince. Thank you cable, thank you Ben and Jerry’s, thank you Wences for leaving me to play cards!

Well it is yet the beginning of another wonderful work week Gotta Love it!

 So this morning I was presented with yet another obstacle in parenting. ( Which I am sure there are plenty more to come) So I will tell the story, so you can understand where my dilemna is coming from.

My daughter Mya (which we like to call “little tubs”) was eatting her poptart for breakfast. I know I know, what a horrible mom, that is so unhealthy! Hey some mornings you do what you gotta do Anyway back on track here…

So Wency and Mya are eatting their pop tarts, and Mya decides that her pop tart is not good enough she would like her brothers too. So she makes several attempts to snatch away his poptart. Now ofcourse he is not going to just give up his sugar filled poptart, what kid would. So Mya then decides she is going to resort to attempting to bite her brothers back. So she is chasing him around the play room with her mouth open trying to get him, and Wency is running around calling for mom.

So I go in the play room, and try to calm down the situation here. (as I am trying to hide my smile because it was quite a sight to see) I then begin to reprimand Mya, and the little rascal says “I didn’t do it” in baby talk but clear enough to know that is what she just said. Well I first had to run into the kitchen so they did not see my laughter. I could not believe my 20 mo old was already resorting to lying.

Well once I got over my initial response to laugh, I thought more seriously about this. This is not a habit that I want my child to get into, lying this is. I know she is only 20 mos old, but there has got to be a way to let her know that this is not acceptable. This thought I have pondered all day today, and I just can not come up with a solution. So I thought I would throw the question out for you bloggers, and see if anyone has any suggestions for me. The question at hand is as follows:

 How do we teach our children, especially lets say under the age of 2 , first off what lying is, and that it is wrong?

So…. the dumb ol Yanks get Roger Clemens back!!!

 This is just annoying news to me… yes I know Amy get with the program this happened a little over a month ago.. sorry guys I just saw this on the news and was irritated!

First of all WHY would the Yankees even want him back? I just don’t understand some coaches these days! Let’s see if I was a coach here are some of the qualites that I would look for in a player.. FAITHFULNESS, skill, and a team player. ( yes there are more but my main point here is FAITHFULNESS)

Roger Clemens said he would only play for his home team (Astros) or the 2 best teams in the American League. (that being the Yankees and the Red Sox) AND where the most money is!

Here is a quote from our friend Mr Clemens..

“It feels like coming back home,” Clemens said. “You feel like you’re welcomed and you know what it’s all about.”

 Pls correct me if I’m wrong but didnt Roger Clemens start out on the Red Sox, so wouldn’t the Red Sox be more like “coming back home”

BLAH BLAH BLAH Mr Clemens.. This is what I hear when I read this quote.. “I think the Yanks will win, the Yanks offered me more money so this is my home. “I think Mr Clemens lives by this motto, “Home is where the money is”

Now don’t get me wrong we all ofcourse would like to make millions of dollars to throw a ball over the plate. (Matt S does well on the LWC team, maybe he should start looking for the best team to play for)

No…. if I was a couch I want a player that is devoted to our team regardless of stats, regardless of price! Where is the heart in Mr Clemens game huh?! I think his heart is frozen over with a dollar sign!

Wow, I have suprised my self here. I am officially blogging about sports, what is happpeing here!

I just don’t get it, why would a coach want a player that is VERY clear why he plays for  the teams he plays for! I WOULDN’T WANT HIM!

“We met with Randy Hendricks earlier this week and, at Randy’s request, made an offer to Roger Clemens,” the statement read. “We offered a substantial salary and suggested, for health purposes, that Clemens return on approximately the same timetable as last year. Today we learned from Randy that Clemens has signed elsewhere.”

(Mr Fancy Shmancy pants couldn’t even tell the Red Sox himself! )

Furthermore, I still say the Red Sox will beat the Yanks again just like I belive it was in ‘04. I am taking bets people, it is on!